Premiere Postmortem

I'm not going to give you a recap. Watch it yourself. My words won't do it justice. (And thanks, Michael, for a pretty thorough rundown of the awesomeness.)

I will, however, give you my brain's running commentary as I watched last night (Yes, there was a lot of "?!" going on), along with the oh-so-quotable moments:

-Problem down at Orchid. The drill melted. Proximity to unlimited energy. "...allow us to manipulate time. There are rules that can't be broken." And Faraday is there?!

-Thank you for shaving, Jack. Much better. Much.

-Plane crash. Heroin Marys? ETHAN?! Does this mean we'll be seeing Eko and Boone, too?

-"Maybe if you eat more comfort food, you wouldn't have to go around shooting people." YES! Hurley has the quote of the night.

-I'm still reeling from the idea of death-by-dishwasher. AMAZING.

-Seriously, WHERE is Sawyer's shirt?

-"You're gonna have to die, John." What?! And why?

-This season is going to be insane. Beyond insane.

-"Open up, it's the Ghost of Christmas Future." Sawyer is in top form.

-Dan tells Desmond what we already know: "The rules don't apply to you. You're special. You're uniquely and miraculously special." Ooh, and there's a wedding ring on Penny's finger! Yes, on Desmond's too.

-Hurley to Sayid: "I'm gonna remember this. Someday you're gonna need my help....you're not getting it." This is going to be huge this season. I can feel it.

-Ana Lucia?! WHAT?! My poor brain. "What if I were real? What if a real cop stopped you?" "Stay away from the cops. Do not get arrested." And then, "Oh, yeah. Libby says hi."

-Sawyer's shirtless steak = over.

-Hurley's variety-store T-shirt. "I like Shih Tzus." "Looks like you heart them."

-I think Jack's under-eye circles disappeared when he shaved. Ben flushed his pills down the toilet. Tells Jack to go home and pack, "because you're never coming back."

-Neil is annoying. I've seen him in something before. I want him to die. Right now.

-Neil is whining again. "Bernie the dentist can't even start a fire." Shot with a burning arrow! YES! NEIL IS DEAD. (Heckler in That Thing You Do. Also in Twister and Never Been Kissed. FYI.)

-Sawyer is rescuing Juliet from helping the dead. I sense some new romantic tension (Love rectangle this season, folks. At least.)

-Uh-oh. Sun is ticked. "I don't blame you. So, how's Jack?" Crazy tension in the soundtrack. Time for a composer's Emmy.

-Dear Hurley, Ana Lucia told you NOT TO GET ARRESTED. Dumb move.

-The Desmond lady. "You only have 70 hours." Or else. "Then God help us all."

FADE TO BLACK.

Whew.

And for those new to the show, Hurley gives the most amazing recap in his confession to his mother. I want to memorize this. Pure awesome:

See, we did crash, but it was on this crazy island. And we waited for rescue, and there wasn't any rescue. And there was a smoke monster. And then there were other people on the island. We called them the Others, and they started attacking us. And we found some hatches, and there was a button you had to push every 108 minutes or... Well, I was never really clear on that. But... the Others didn't have anything to do with the hatches. That was the Dharma Initiative. But they were all dead. The Others killed them, and now they're trying to kill us. And then we teamed up with the Others because some worse people were coming on a freighter. Desmond's girlfriend's father sent them to kill us. So we stole their helicopter and we flew it to their freighter, but it blew up. And we couldn't go back to the island, because it disappeared, so then we crashed into the ocean, and we floated there for a while until a boat came and picked us up. And by then, there were six of us. That part was true. But the... But the rest of the people who were on the plane? They're still on that island.

What about you? What made you talk to your TV?

TAGS: Premiere, Recap
POST TOOLS: